So I have been thinking about anger lately. A lot. I actually posted about this to gender critical reddit about our anger (the thread was from a day or 2 ago, called “angry women” under my handle there, terfs_of_a_feather).
I don’t want to rehash that post here, although I might at another time. What I kind of wanted to talk about, and wanted the thoughts of other women on, is our attitudes. Specifically how we so often meet male violence and bullshit with kindness, understanding, all of those “ladylike” qualities that are such a huge part of our socialization into “femininity”.
This is what happened.
I created the angry women post. It immediately received attention and some really good comments. In one part of the post, I wrote a little about how males derail when we talk.
So I was not surprised when a little hysterical dudebro ran in and began to derail with some low level manbaby tantruming. In typical male fashion, he completely missed the irony, of course.
In the meantime, I was looking around the reddit, and I commented in a thread (I can’t remember which one), and I used the word “tranny”. I used it 2 or 3 times in response to a woman that had been aggressively approached by a drunk tranny hoard in a restroom in a club.
Within a matter of minutes, moderators had removed my post, and they very kindly explained that the “t slur” (tranny) was not permitted, and that when I edited my post to remove the unkind word, they would gladly reapprove it. (For clarity, the moderator was very kind, I mean that. I write a lot of snark, but this paragraph is NOT sarcasm).
But dudebro derailing all over the angry woman thread was permitted to continue shitting all over the place with multiple posts, even while other women were literally asking for him to be handled by the moderators.
He posted freely for a few hours (but most of his posts had been removed by the next day, some are still there, though), but my use of tranny was not tolerated for more than a few minutes.
First of all, I have spent some time around trannies. This was in the 80s and 90s, when androgyny was a thing, and males that dressed in “feminine” clothing didn’t think that wearing a dress/heels/cosmetics made them a woman. They called themselves trannies. Tranny has now been declared a slur by ladymen because they needed another notch on their persecution belt. Saying a penis is male or talking about our periods is literal, actual violence and tranny is a slur! Women are responsible for tranny suicides because we say the word, tranny!
It is like that.
The longer that the mantrum posts stayed up the more pissed off that I got. Males have the entirety of the internet to whine about women and about how males are oh so fucking put upon, what with the government, law, justice, media systems being the vast majority male. They have everywhere to bitch and whine about how they have all of the societal power but nothing bad is ever their fault. Not to mention all of the porn/prostitution sites.
And yet, some of them still make time to post at gender critical reddit. And the moderators aren’t nearly as concerned about the males running amuck as they are about the delicate dude feelz of the fragile males that may be offended from a woman’s use of the word, tranny.
Why is That? I mean, if you have ever looked at message boards where trannies congregate to talk, they refer to us as “fish”. They denigrate women as less than they are (just like all males), they talk about how their broholes are so much cleaner and better than our nasty, dirty, female bodies. And how males will eventually like them better than us because our vaginas get loose and saggy while their broholes are so very tight and stay that way.
And if you haven’t seen that, what about how they threaten to rape and punch us? Or saying that we need to “die in a fire”? All because we say no to penis. We say no to it in our private spaces and lesbians say no to the “cotton ceiling”. Acknowledging a penis as male gets us called bigot, terf, bitch, cunt, etc.
I wonder about the kindness that women freely extend to males, especially in places like gender critical reddit, which seems to be focused on women. The moderators there are so concerned about male feelz that they will remove a woman’s post within minutes for the word, tranny, but males are free to be little disruptive, derailing shits all over the place.
I was so irritated by that, that I deleted my reddit app and decided not to post there, anymore. There are a lot of lovely, kind, thoughtful, considerate, articulate women there that I am sad to miss interacting with. But I just can’t stand how males are centered, and it is because women can’t be mean, because mean is just so unfeminine, and it makes males uncomfortable.
And that is why I decided to write here again. I needed a break from all of the male violence/control/crying/complaining/etc. And when I came back to the web, I thought about just letting this blog go. But when I have something to say, I don’t say it so that people will read it. I mean, I look forward to interacting with the women that may show up here.
But if no one shows up, that’s ok, too. Because this blog is like my diary, a place to say exactly what I want to say in the way that I want to say it without being dragged back into the “feminine” line by being called angry, mean, irrational, etc. by hysterical, whiny males and the women that pander to them.
The only place that I am truly comfortable posting in the comments section is Femininist Current. All comments are moderated (meaning that they don’t appear until approved by a moderator), but Meghan Murphy has openly stated that she isn’t interested in silencing women. I am certain that she doesn’t personally agree with every comment that is approved, but she approves most of them, anyway. Even from males. But she allows responses to those males pretty much however women choose to phrase them.
And this space is about what *I* want. What makes *me* comfortable. I will never (knowingly) allow males here. And if other women want to talk here, they are welcome to speak however they choose. I won’t tolerate sexism, racism or misogyny, but anything else that women want to say or talk about is just fine.
I will not create a space and have any part of it dedicated to male feelings. Fuck them. This space is about speaking our minds and being encouraged to do so in the way that you want to. No one here will call you angry, or emotional, irrational, or wrong.
You can be completely anonymous. Or not. I forget that some women may not be comfortable posting in public. If you have something to say, don’t let nerves stop you. Or just read. That is fine, too.
I am looking forward to getting to know you. And I hope that you decide to join me.
RadFemSpiraling aka Hekate Jayne