I don’t really have anything interesting or useful to add to the “me, too” conversation. It has been covered extensively by other radical feminists and they have said it better than I ever could.
I am proud of all of us. We have to endure so much shit and abuse from males on a daily basis and we handle it all like the strong, powerful women that we are. And when something like Weinstein comes out, I am happy and honored to support the women directly affected in any way that I can.
Because I can relate.
Because me, too.
In fact, I don’t know a single woman that can’t say “me, too”.
What I want to talk about is how routine this seems. Males have 2 responses to women, when we call them out on their violent bullshit.
Male Response #1: Bitches be lying!Rape never happens! Males never, ever sexually assault Women! But women love it!
Bill Cosby, anyone? This is also a good example of how males hold conflicting stances simultaneously. They claim rape never happens while claiming that she wanted it. As the ruling class, they don’t have to make sense.
Male Response #2: Oh my gosh! Golly gee wiz! What can we do? How can we help stop the violence??? We had no idea!!! Wowzers!
I have heard a lot of the number 2 response this time. As opposed to other recent incidents, which were mostly number 1.
So we are supposed to believe that the dudes are just clueless. That all of these dudes that hang out with other dudes just don’t ever hear their buddies cracking jokes about whores, Bitches, sluts, etc. They have never seen another dude grab an unknown woman’s ass. They have never catcalled a woman or commented on her breasts or ass, either to each other or to her directly.
And we are also supposed to believe that the women in their lives have never mentioned anything about abhorrent male behavior.
So my question is this. Do these kind, respectful dudes just never leave their houses? Because I see lots of scumbags on the daily. The non sexist and non misogynist dudes, I almost never see them.
The reason for that is simple. These guys that are all “but I love Women! I defend them! I want to be part of the solution!” Like Ben Affleck. Who made a kind, supportive statement, only to be called out for his own personal, entitled, gropey behavior.
He didn’t even remember that he did it.
Males perpetuate male violence and all manner of harassing, entitled, sexual assault and monstrosities, yet………….
THEY DON’T SEE IT.
Let’s think about that for a minute. The very dudes that will (for one example) grab your breast (*cough* BEN AFFLECK *cough*) will insist that they never see harassment, assault, or all manner of disgusting male behavior.
They can’t see it. They absolutely can’t find it. They are SHOCKED! SHOCKED, when stories like this come out! Because how could they possibly know?????
They don’t see it when they themselves are commiting it. But these dudes are going to fix it! As soon as they can find it!
Why do any of us believe this anymore? Those of us that have been involved with an abusive male know that the promises of stopping the beatings, name calling, abuse ALWAYS COME WHEN THE ABUSER THINKS THAT WE ARE GOING TO LEAVE.
Women, as a class, are stuck in an abusive cycle with the entire male class. When they do something particularly egregious and large numbers of women get pissed, then they begin to make the promises of change. But then they go right back to whatever bullshit they were doing before. They like their privilege, they love their entitlement to our bodies, our reproduction, our labor. Our collective anger scares them, so they play nice for a while as a manipulation to bring us back into line. When our anger subsides, the crisis is over for them, and they revert back to their demanding, entitled ways.
And round and round we go.
I am just wondering why any of us would think that this time is different. I quit giving head pats to males for saying the right thing years ago. They love to talk.
But they are taking classes, and reading books, working really, really hard, all in an effort to treat us as human beings. Because it is just so confusing, you know. They are attending seminars trying to figure out how not to grope/harass/assault/rape etc.
Because they are totes going to change this time! This time is going to be different! For realzies!
Yep. Not gonna hold my breath.