If you are reading this and you are thinking that you won’t know what the hell I am talking about because you don’t know about the Alaskan Bush People, that’s ok! Because I am going to tell you what they are and you will know enough to be just as irritated as I am.
I don’t watch a lot of tv, but I always have something going in the background while I am doing other stuff. I own a bunch of phones, a laptop and other stuff that I can carry around the house. While I was working in the kitchen last night I found ABP on hulu and thought that it might be ok.
It starts off not too bad. A man and woman and their kids (6 or 7 males, all mostly grown, and 1 young daughter, she looked about 10, maybe). The story is that they were living on public land and the government burned their house down to make them move. So the series is this family moving even further into the Alaskan backwoods.
This is a “reality” show. I just took it at face value, for what the show claims to be, it could be scripted, I don’t care enough to find out.
This couple raised their kids away from society (mostly) and taught them at home. And somehow, all of those male people that they raised view women as objects.
How did that happen?
I didn’t make it that far into the series, although I managed to ignore most of the sexist fuckery that these backwoods douches engaged in. They don’t see a lot of people, and almost never any women (which honestly makes me worried for the one little girl that is their sister), and the first woman that they see is at her job, where she has no choice but to deal with them.
Have you ever seen a dead animal on the side of the road? That is just a little pile of blood and bone, but it is surrounded with 5 or 6 vultures?
That is what these males reminded me of. They literally descended on her like they were afraid that she might try to escape.
They want her phone number, and she hesitantly tells them that they can call her at work (or that might have been directed at just one of them, I was doing stuff so I wasn’t paying careful attention). They want to know where she hangs out. The town has 125 people, so I am thinking that hangouts are going to be really easy to find, but she tells them about the pizza place that she frequents.
So then, the dudes go into this whole thing about how there is a “woman shortage” in Alaska (it is like a gas shortage, but with uteruses!), and how they are looking for a woman to drag out into the backwoods to have “their” kids and “their” families.
I am thinking that the woman shortage (which they say it is something insane, like 10 dudes to 1 woman, which makes me feel badly for the 30 women that live there) is because women are too smart to live in Alaska. The land of Palin, where rape victims have to pay for their own rape kits and there is only something like 4 hours of sunlight a day.
That and I am not moving anywhere where males outnumber women by that much while they also look at women as a resource to be mined. Mainland civilization is too dangerous with males. Not going anywhere near “backwoods” with desperate males trolling for a woman to drag back to their cave.
So Dudebros all go into town to the pizza place in search of ladies. The car ride there is every bit as fun and informative as you can imagine. It is what you would expect. Their conversations about hunting were a lot like this one, except you can swap out the word “moose” for “women”. Bagging either one be tricky business for the backwoods Dudebros.
They arrive at the bar and find that there are only a few women there. It seemed like about 3 or 4.
So they all went in and approached the women respectfully, obviously trying to form a solid friendship first, and treat them with dignity and respect, and not treating the women as fucktoys………..
JUST KIDDING! Had you going, did I?
Again, it went as you would expect. They volleyed for position with the 1 or 2 single women, who were very obviously not interested.
There was a married woman at the bar, and most of them approached her individually, acting interested in chatting and using her tats as an initial talking point. The second each one figured out that she was married, they were all SEE YA.
She was interesting and friendly. But alas, she already had an owner, so no point in talking to her, amirite.
But this story has a happy ending because they all went home to the backwoods alone. So the few women of Alaska won the night. Fucking YAY.
All of that was annoying, but not unusual or surprising. It didn’t put me off watching. It is just so common.
The incident that put me off involved a bartering deal that these guys were attempting to make to get a generator. They ended up in a string of barters that involved a generator, wood, DVDs and trout. All different deals with different people that would end with them getting a generator.
And they had money. And they were making a tv show that is paying them money. And they were sleeping in Alaska cold without heat or electricity. And some of them were getting sick from the cold. But whatever. Save your cash, stingy fuckers. Because damn.
So they go to catch the fish to trade for DVDs, to trade for wood, to trade for the generator.
The dad catches a pretty big trout. One of the males pulls out a knife and says something like “let me finish it off so that it does not suffer”, but before he can do whatever he was going to do with the knife……..
The other brother that was there knelt down, made a fist, and punched the head of the fish into a literal pulp. It was obviously dead after the first punch, but he hit it at least once more, but I think that it was twice.
I don’t know if fish are sentient, or not. And I am not opposed to fishing. Or hunting. I don’t do those things, but I know what being poor is like, and I have no issue with people hunting for food (hunting for sport is another matter).
After he punched the fish to death in the manliest of fashion, he mumbled something about putting it out of its misery (these dudes had subtitles most of the time).
I am not even sure that I can explain the feeling that I get when I see a guy that is just standing there, appearing to be garden variety calm, and suddenly bursting into a state of violence like that. It is the suddeness of it, I think, and the unpredictability.
Dudes are always telling us that violence is in their “nature”. So is that what caused this guy to kill that fish like it had just drowned his puppy?
Or was he not even feeling particularly violent? But showing off how he has the capacity to just go full on batshit without a hint of anger or frustration?
I have been fishing with people that killed fish. Never that violently, though. I didn’t know that punching something to death was a thing.
My brain just said “check please”. I was done. Males are violent at us, animals, the planet, each other, etc. I don’t need to see it in “reality” entertainment.