I watched “Love Me” on the Netflix and ERMAGERD. What a shitshow. This doc is a pretty good examination of how patriarchy functions on a global scale by use of the (male) economic system to keep us divided into the “haves” and “have nots”, with the majority of the “haves” being male, the poorest being majority women, and how males utilize financial power to commodify women for their personal use.
I am pretty sure that I already hear manbabies screaming about choice and about how poor women in other countries “choose” to seek out American males due to having no opportunities in their home lands and how dare a hairy, fat feminist such as myself question their freedoms! But these are the dudes that actually prefer a woman have no choice about anything, really, and coercion (financial or otherwise) is the ONLY way that they can “attract” a woman, and this is totally acceptable to entitled misogynists because how else are they going to obtain the domestic/sexual slave that they are owed? They reframe monetary coercion as choice, and VOILA! LADY EMPOWERMENT just magically appears. Amirite.
“Love Me” focuses on this company called A Foreign Affair that matches (sells) poor women with few life options to males in better places, in this case, the women were all from Ukraine. The males in this doc were all from the states with the exception of one from Brisbane, Australia. And all of these dudes is every bit the winner that you would guess him to be. You know what I mean.
So males pick a woman (or 50) from the AFA website to exchange emails. They email as many women as they like and it is a bargain at TEN DOLLARS PER EMAIL. I know!!!! Some of these dudes spend thousands just emailing women that I am absolutely, 100% sure are the beautiful models that are in the pictures! It is definitely NOT A SCAM. For realzies.
AFA offers tours to Ukraine so that males can attend “socials” where they can arrange to meet women that they have been emailing or just browse the women that AFA invites to be browsed. The majority of the doc is about males on the Ukraine tour.
Dude number one is from NC, was married for 28 years to his “high school sweetheart” and had 3 kids before he was 26. He claims that she didn’t appreciate him enough. I am thinking that it just took her that long to escape. What is it with some males that they need a fucking cheerleader? We have shit to do, bro, we can’t be constantly giving you trophies and cookies for being a good boy. Christ.
So he is really sick of the subpar American commodities that he has been trying to date, by which he means that American women aren’t up to his lofty standards and he is having to look elsewhere. There isn’t much story to this guy. After traveling to Ukraine and being a complete dickhead (which is a universal language, btw, women everywhere know it well) to the women there, he decided that maybe American women weren’t so bad, after all. He got back together with an old girlfriend and he called it a day.
Dude number two I will call Fed. He is in his mid 40s, works for the federal government, and he has a very nice cat that I am pretty sure hates him, if the cat’s facial expression is any indication. And I don’t blame the cat because this dude is not all that likable.
Fed has been emailing with lots of Ukraine ladies but he has his sights set on a woman that looks a lot like Angelina jolie. I tend to judge these particular type males by their own value system of “looks is uber important”, and Fed fails his own value system MISERABLY. He is not an attractive male. But if he is going to buy himself a domestic servant, he thinks he deserves the bestest, hottest thing there is. His money entitles him. That is how it works.
He arranges to meet up with Angelina and SHOCKER! She doesn’t show the first time. This involves a lot of frustration on Fed’s part which is mostly him just walking around, sweating profusely and whining about how no one speaks English. In his solo interview, he mentions the amount of money that he has spent emailing this woman and that he hopes that he hasn’t been scammed (lol).
So the AFA rep/owner gets involved and manages to get Angelina to the social the second night. Fed and Angelina communicate through a translator and at the end of the “date”, Fed believes that he is engaged. To fake Angelina.
Here is the really interesting thing about this. Fed has said in his solo interview that he is not convinced that the woman that showed up is the woman that he has been exchanging emails with. She IS the woman from the picture, but she didn’t recognize pictures that he showed her on the date, even though these were pictures that she had seen previously in his emails (pics of his house, cat, etc.). The interviewer asks if this is a problem? If The woman that fed is now engaged to ends up not being the woman that he has been emailing for months?
Sisters, Fed is just so accepting and easygoing, that he doesn’t care if this is the same woman! How generous and accommodating Fed is!
Because the months of conversation doesn’t matter. What matters is that this woman looks like Angelina!
That speaks volumes.
Fed goes home and yet another SHOCKER! He keeps emailing Angelina (at 10 bucks a pop, still), but she refuses to answer personal questions, and when he insists that she answer, she ends communication. But never fear! Hope springs eternal for Fed, who continues to email women on the AFA site.
At this point, it became very clear that this male that owns the AFA is making a killing off the emails and the entitlement of a bunch of lonely, homely, awkward dudes that are desperate for a young, attractive woman to own. Males always end up eating their own. So sad. Moving on……
Next we have farmer. Farmer lives in some hellish part of Wisconsin that seems to be really bleak and cold. He looks to be in his late 30s and he is a dairy farmer. The town is really small and mostly male. I am guessing women are too smart to live there. Not an impressive place.
If I could be sympathetic with any of these males, it would be farmer. He was soft spoken and he seemed to lack the entitlement that eminates like a diseased fog from most males. Farmer seemed to be genuinely trying to meet a woman in the best way that he knew how while understanding that his awkwardness and demeanor would not be every woman’s cup of tea. He didn’t seem to have any obvious issues with women. It seemed like he went looking for a social outlet to meet women and just kind of landed on this one.
Farmer met a woman at one of the socials and fell immediately in LURV, ya’ll. I admit that I was somewhat happy for his awkward ass. One of the things that I appreciated about him is that he appeared to possess some emotional intelligence and he showed emotions that most males consider “feminine” (i.e. weak).
So all is well, farmer goes home, buys an engagement ring and plans to go back to Ukraine. Which he does, at least twice.
On his first visit there, he is staying with Vica and is recording to document his time there. It is immediately obvious that something is wrong, but he won’t say exactly what and he keeps insisting that everything “will be ok”.
After returning to the states he tells us that on the day of his return, as he is preparing to go to the airport, the police knock on Vica’s door and threaten to “arrest” her over a $4000 debt. Farmer doesn’t have $4k, he has only “a couple hundred”. The police very generously (LOL) say that they will accept the few hundred and Vica will not be arrested that day. Farmer is concerned about missing his flight so he gives the “cops” the money so that this can be over and he can leave.
This is patriarchy. This is the system that males have created and continue to perpetuate globally. Males everywhere cry about how women are “gold diggers” while ignoring that they uphold an economic system that requires money to survive while simultaneously disadvantaging women who have few choices in how to obtain money just to live. Males starve women of economic means, forcing women to be dependent on them. And then males get mad when women scam them for money.
What do they expect? When males perpetuate a system that insures that there will always be a lower class/caste of women for them to buy and sell to feed their entitlement, some of us are going to game that system. This IS the opportunity presented by the male system, after all. For some women it is the ONLY opportunity.
The male “moral code” (lol) says that it is totes fine to commodify women using monetary force, but it is SUPER DUPER IMMORAL AND WRONG FOR THOSE BITCHES TO SCAM US!
Another part of the global patriarchy that is glaringly clear is that marriage is the MOSTEST, BESTEST LADY CHOICE EVAR. Some time was spent talking to the parents of the women, and they all expressed the same sentiment of LADIES BE MARRIED BY 18, MY DAUGHTER IS 30 AND STILL SINGLE! HALPHALP!
These parents were batshit. The first ones spoken to said that they were worried about their daughter marrying a male that she didn’t know that well and moving so far away, but it is worth the risk because being single is HORRIBLE AND TERRIBLE AND UNACCEPTABLE for women over 18.
Think about that for a minute. Three women are murdered every day in the USA by a male. Rapes and beatings by husbands are almost too numerous and hidden to obtain an accurate accounting. But being single is so horrible that women will take the risk.
This is patriarchy. This is control and oppression. Earlier, I said that I felt kind of bad for farmer. After talking about this, THIS is why I end up not feeling bad for dudes like him. Because he gets huge benefits from patriarchy. He doesn’t have to learn to relate to women as human beings, he doesn’t have to learn how to be caring and considerate, or how to have a relationship with a woman. He doesn’t have to put in any effort. He can just buy a woman. This is how all males benefit in a patriarchy.
There were more males featured and a few of them got married. Brisbane flew his Ukraine lady to Bali (along with her 2 minor daughters) to marry her, after which she stopped speaking to him. Even though they were married, Australia has an immigration process that takes several months, married or no. She went back to Ukraine and he returned to Brisbane.
Eventually, he went back to Ukraine to confront her and to basically force her into staying with him. He told her that he was moving to Ukraine and things got kind of ugly. I was worried for her for a minute, there, when his entitlement and rage at not being able to control what he believed that he had bought and paid for came flooding out. The camera crew being there saved her from some violence, I believe.
And then we have a dude in Texas with a closet full of guns in dire need of a lady servant. And a construction worker that appreciates “innocence” and is unable to find it in slutty American women. After all, we ARE a monolith, we ARE all exactly the same, he can’t tell us apart. And I suppose lesbians don’t exist, and women like me, who married a poor man, we also don’t exist.
Silly me. I know we exist. We just don’t matter. We are invisible because we are not 20 year old virgins that model and love giving blow jobs. Those are the only women visible to these kinds of male because they are the only women that they are interested in. And they are pissed that these few women ignore them (or don’t exist at all, in reality). So they go and buy one somewhere else.
The last thing that I want to talk about is how these males talk about women. They said the most fucking ignorant things (also shocking!) about women. Specifically about women in Ukraine:
“It is like getting a woman from the 1950s!”
“It is like dating your MOM!” (LOL, whut??)
“We are like kids in a candy store!” (Yes, candy and women are just alike. Both exist for males to buy, consume and enjoy as objects)
“The women focus on YOU and not a career”
And those are just phrases I remember off the top of my head. This doc is chock full of male wisdom about women. Really.
This doc focuses on the males, but it manages to also impart a lot of information on the women in Ukraine, on their lives and what life is like for them. THAT is what I was really interested in. And the women were vastly more interesting than the males, as usual. It is worth watching just to see their stories.
It is also very clear that this is a system that almost never works. I was under the impression that males just went and purchased a woman and that was all there is to it. The reality is that these dudes spend thousands of dollars, many make multiple trips overseas, and most of them fail. And a lot of them get scammed, not just by the women, but by the males that profit from their loneliness, bitterness, and entitlement.
I give it 7 out of 10 misandry points.